this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
