Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
