i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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