one might say we're banned from that church
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
