Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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