i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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