She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
