You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need a beard to bite.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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