I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
