Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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