he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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