this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
