fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
