So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
