im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
