I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
