I must be too annoying 4 u.
I look better un-naked...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
