Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
