I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
