Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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