So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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