ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
