i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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