are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize