White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
