Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
