operation harelip BJ is a go
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
