just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
