Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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