accomplished twins. life is a go
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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