Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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