brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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