I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The air was thick with penises
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize