I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that's an acceptable place to lick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
