East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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