if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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