Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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