Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
