Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
