How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
