that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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