Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
