"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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