Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
