..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
