Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
