direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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