Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
