hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
