apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
