You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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