he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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