girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize