and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
