I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
