bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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