i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
