Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
