i was born a porn star she said
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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